torsdag den 15. februar 2018

The Big Bad Wolf and the Virgin - Pluto in Capricorn stalks the progressed Moon in the 10th

These days my progressed Moon has a "friend" ... He's called Pluto. And he is like that bug you can't really shake off. He acts like a stalker, following her and she's desperate to escape his breath in the nape.

I'm talking about the progressed chart with my Moon in Capricorn trudging along in the 10th house, while transitting Pluto (which we all know is a royal pain in the a-hat) is transitting Cap as well on the outside world. I refuse to believe these two don't talk, even if the progressed chart is what's happening on the inside of my brain and feelings. Poor girl. She has had a LOT to deal with the past half year while Pluto was on her like a bee in your stockings. Ouch!
She started squaring my natal moon at 13 degrees early June 2017 and around that time she was also conjunct my natal Mars. Damn! Hot combo. It really *did* feel like a hot mess around this time...


The Moon looks behind her in fear. Fuck. He is right there. Never letting her out of his sight, getting closer, closer, closer... She can feel his breath in her neck, like a really annoying stray dog, and he has the audacity to LAUGH when he meets her eyes. The audacity!
- What's the matter, Moon, aren't you happy to see me? I thought you liked all that seriusness and deep stuff coming off ya these days! 
- Go away, she mumbles and shakes her head. -As if life's not already heavy enough with responsibilities and I know not what, Pluto. Go play with someone else, why does it have to be me you're taunting? I don't have anything to do with the real world anyway. 
Pluto smiles amicably and the Moon knows she is screwed. Pluto only does it before he delivers a hit to the core that robs you of every bluidy thing you hold dear. 
- You're no fun, she sulks. -Why don't you go and piss off a CEO or boss instead of me? I am up to my own neck in trying to fight with half of my heritage and bring it out in the open, and at the same time that shitty Mars is blowing cold mud rocks into my head from his position at the natal chart. Can't you see I am in enough shit already? Don't you know it matters to me how my home works, and that I'm already fighting with my own self with that square to the natal Moon in the 8th house? Why also you now?

Pluto just smiles. Lie. Pluto doesn't smile. He is too cunning for that, that power hungry mongrel, the Moon thinks. She shudders by the thought of what he can think of doing to her, Venus and the other planets in the chart. 
-Can I not teach you how to be self reliant and emotional mature by shaking you up a little? He says with a glint in those deep Pluto eyes. Again, the Mooon shudders. Who knows what lies in those and what morbid things he has seen throughout this lifetime of incarnation. 

-I am doing that all by own, alone, these days myself so thank you very much, but no thanks, she says and sighs. This 10th house business stuff in Capricorn is heavy enough as is, but dealing with your own shit from childhood at the same time, while everyone is watching is even more embarrassing she sighs inwardly and looks down at her big girl pants. There are some holes in the fabric, from where she has taken a hit the past months... She is so tired of the drag, but keeps on. Because Capricorn never give up, they keep on marching on, trying to do the right thing even if there are none to be done.  
-Why won't you lend some of my psychological strenght to get it done? Pluto suggests and the Moon turns around to look at him. He looks so innocent, but part of her is afraid, because she knows what havoc Pluto can play in your life because of his power hungriness and part of her is tempted because she knows she could gain so much more with him backing her up from the outside.
-Don't say you're not considering it, Pluto says and shoots her a sardonic glint of his eyes. -You and me both know that the conflicts inside you have to contend with these days are not child's play...
The Moon looks up at Pluto and says in a small voice: -I don't know how, I don't know if I want to - and I don't know HOW its done - how can I borrow from someone who isn't the giving type but just hunts the take-down of power and psychological control freaks and not my best and most sincere offers? What do I have to gain from doing that you say, Pluto?
Pluto offers her a secret smile and looks at her with his hypnotic eyes. Even in a cold-blooded sign as Cap he can look like a sinner with a virgin heart.
-That, my dear, is totally why I'm offering it to you. It's so that you can build your own power up from the inside and out, and gain access to your soul's true nature by aligning your true purpose with your heart's power and bring it out into the open to build your standing in life, my dear. Isn't that obvious that in order for you to gain such wisdom you must give up your struggle to survice and become the survivor? How to better harness that energy than to feel your heart true purpose?

The Moon closes her eyes and when she opens then she says: -But I'm almost at the weakest right now - everything is squaring up against me in a double whammy of Mars-Moon and the other planets are here as well.
-On the contrary, you have never had so much backup to find your soul purpose in life - where you shine, my dear Moon, Pluto says and points at the other deities in Capricorn. Saturn is far away but closing in, thanks to his ingress into the early Cap degrees and the MC is hoovering outside of the natal 12th house.

-What you seek is not a power you can find inside of yourself alone, Pluto says. -It will need time and matureness to fully bloom and be used for the optimal reasons. None of that is possible without emotional maturity, but you need to take your own power and decide what you wanna build with it, to get into the game so as to years down the road you can look back and see where your focus were.
The Moon slowly says: -And, since you're such an expert of what I want and don't want... then what do you think I focous on, Pluto?

Pluto winks at her. Winks! He says nothing and smiles again. -Really, my dear moon, can't you see it yourself? I did think it became really clear as you moved into a neighbourhood with gang fightings, shooting episodes and conflict. Look at yourself, dear girl! That's what you hide from inside of you, preferring to gloss things over, down in the 8th house Libra stuff... To pretend there are no ugly or rough edges to people but most of all - what you yourself contain. True power comes to those that turns their black holes into shining stars!
His passionate speech renders the Moon speechless for a moment. She feels compelled to follow his words - yet, at the same time, she fears to open herself up again and feel the deepest scars her mother added to her heart.

-Feel it, Pluto breathes, and she looks at him, scared to her bones.
-I can't, she whimpers and close herself down, the pain being too much to bear with all the other things happening around her and the struggle with her own natal self. -What if I am destroyed in myself? I don't want to be left off, bitter, bleeding and worst of all... alone! Why are you doing this to me, Pluto!
-Because I want you to GROW, lady! Without growth we are just imbeciles, trying to escape our deepest wounds which we are sat into this world to solve and dissolve and heal from. Look at yourself - you are running from your own wounds, always has been, if Mars had not kept you in check in a forever battle and square! Don't you want to make peace with your Mars?
The Moon nods. That damned Mars. She is so so tired of that stiffnecked cockyball.
-Alright, she agrees. -I will take your word for it, and not be afraid of failing or loosing myself and my soul. Maybe it will at least give  me some insights I can use to move forward so not to be too afraid later in life.
-Not only insights, Pluto mesmerizes. -God's only power ... wisdom and heart strenght, after you've been in the bowls of your own personal Hell for the entire year, Moon. Don't you want to get free of it in the end, to NOT feel this pain in your gut all the time?
The Moon sighs and nods. -Alright, Pluto. I admit I will achieve what I have not already done: Enough maturity to look at my demons and own them with my whole heart. Nothing less and nothing more. Deal?
-Sweet, my dear girl, Pluto says and put on his sunglasses. -Now, I must get to the club soon. Have fun, little Moon!

And *poof* - the threatening planet of sin and evil purpose is gone before the Moon can say anything else.

mandag den 5. februar 2018

Saturn and Pluto talks. Messages from the bowls of Hell.... (Pluto transits Capricorn in the 12th house)

Saturn is right now diving into Capricorn, his home sign, in the early days of 2018. He is touring the last past of my 11th house which is sharing its property with the open minded, upbeat visionary and fluffy Sagitarius. It offers a healthy mix of reality check I'd say. The mix of Sag's visionary, goal setting and ambition coupled with Saturn's need for a cold, harsh reality check to my dreams and visionary goals. I can almost HEAR Saturn cocking his eye-brow to Sag's visionary quest and with a dry reply saying: "Sure, Sag. Do you have a plan laid out for this thing you wanna do?"

So, Pluto has been transitting Capricorn and my 11th/12th house for some years now. He has now reached the underbelly of the mother lode, in which we see the deepest currents of "Hell" if there was any. We are taken on the journey of the 12th house in my horoscope. The place where things go bump in the night....

***

Saturn stares down in the pit from where he can sense steam and pebbles coming up every now and then. He shoots a look down there, a mix between worried and puzzled.
Saturn is the lover of rocks and pebbles after all, so all he does is brush the dust from his woolen suit and call down to Pluto:
"Hey, Pluto! Bro! You good?"
The sound travels down far below the surface of the 11th house border and is met with a roar of rage and anger and a deep yowl of pain.
"Fine! Doing my stuff down here, you wouldn't believe what lives in these waters. Yuck!"
A scream sounds and a rotten limb suddenly appears up fro the hole where Pluto crashed his way down to the deep bowls of Hell ever since he entered late 2012.
"Just a minute, I'll be fine!" he yells to Saturn, while Saturn shoots looks that are equally quizzical and worried.

"Now, don't mess up the whole thing before I get there, will you?" Saturn yells to Pluto which are mumbling for himselves in the deep pits down in a not-really-measurable distance. The pits of Hell and Doom are infinite with no clear borders or limits. It could be right here - and far far away for all Saturn knows. The look on his face is one of resolute and stoic stubbornness. Also... a little bit of fear might as well lurk in the deepest parts of his cool, grey eyes. He is after all soon entering the place where things go ... askew in the dark. That's why he must go. To put some order to all the messy things which Pluto has been digging up while Saturn was busy trying to get that bloody archer Sagitarius to aim for the right stuff and not the fluffy dreams and visions. He sighs.
"You sure you're ok down there, bro?" he asks again and hears another scream, a growl and a ripping.
"Fine! Just fine!" Pluto shouts. "I'm trying to get to the gold down here, there's a glimmer in it, I can see it, but the dirt just keeps gushing in and stirs up anger and trouble! You should see the looks on their faces when I did up yet another grave that woman has dug for herself through her 35 years in life!"
"I can imagine" Saturn mumbles, with a twinge. It's true, the last time he was here there weren't really a lot to work with. A new sibbling had just arrived and he had to build this woman up so she was able to grow up fast. He had to put her through a lot during these two years so she would not fall on her face when the real struggle turned up and about to crush her from time to time. Sometimes he hated his job just a little. All the suffering and pain. "But... duty calls", he mumbles to himself, looking at his pocket watch.

He liked his pocket watch. Opposite what others thought, Saturn liked his pocket watch immensely. It was good quality, tried and tested against reality and hardships time and time again. The wishy-washy Mercury and Venus always preferred the newest, fancy looking gadgets and had a hard time buckling up to do some work - but at least he hoped that Mercury in the 8th house were up to the hard times and tasks he had written in his upcoming strategy plan for 2018 - 2020. He knew Mercury had a lot to see, think and worry about, but it was time to put the boy in the ringer and get something GOOD out of him for that matter. He knew Scorpio could be cunning as well, not wanting to face the pain of its losses, but with the Moon over at Libra and the 8th house being hit first, he didn't think the Sun, Venus and Jupiter (frolicking pair of nutbolts if ever there were some) would complain much after what he had in mind for the troubled moon.

Ahhh, yes, that was one troubled lady if ever he had seen one. Deeply hurt and in a constant battle with Mars, Mars had always had a lot to deal and contend with, while trying to do his work out in the real world of hopes and dreams. He often messed his goals up, but that was mostly due to the Moon's wounds and angry hurt. Still, when the Libra Moon was in one of her rare balanced moods, she could be almost... balsamic, Saturn thought with a wink. So soothing and pleasing that she could almost trick you into thinking she always was so easy to be around and please. He knew he had made her life miserable when he had paid her a visit from 2010 to 2012, but he had a score to settle with his own Saturn return, and he had dreaded how that had unfolded with the Pluto energy so constantly present. A lot depended on this return, and he had managed to get some good results in, even if it killed their relationship through 8 years. Saturn sighed. War always meant casualties. In this case he was not sorry to see the bastard go, he had made sure the lady got what she deserved after all - and then some. Such a shame that Uranus had gone and ruined that with his rebel tendencies when he traveled the 2nd house and put a wild streak in the moon. No one could have seen that thunderbolt coming - at least not in the family.

Saturn winced. He was not fond of the kid she had chosen, but he had had to teach her loneliness to make her realize she was stronger than she knew. And so he had proceeded to make her stronger and more capable alone than with another. The Moon hated him for it, all she wanted to do was partnering, but Saturn had his best time in Libra. He was fair and just and the Moon knew there was nothing to be gained by making a fuss out of it. Still, he felt sorry for his upcoming fight with her. He would make sure to set her misconceptions to right.

"I'm going down soon!" he shouted to Pluto and looked down through the hole. Pluto was still working, and would continue to do so until 2023 - or more. He had a little fringe of Aquarius to cover during his stay in the 12th house as well.
"I know!" Pluto shouted back. "I am trying to well up all the golden nuggest for you to turn into something solid" he continued. "But I will also make you work for it, you know, right?"
"Absolutely", Saturn answered and that was all he could do... patiently wait until he was out of the 11th house and hit the 12th smack dab square in the butt, on his way out of the 11th. If all went well, he would have a few results coming up from that tour of his, however long they were taking.
"Good", Pluto answered. "And so you and I shall have a blast. I'm setting up the tables these days"
"Like I wouldn't know"... Saturn sighed and shook his head.

søndag den 4. februar 2018

Saturn transitting Capricorn: Status Meeting with Mars (Mars Conjunct Saturn)



Saturn has been fired up just mightily the past 2 years … phew. He has been traveling along in Sagitarius which covers my 9th, 10th and 11th house. That's a LOT in 2,5 years!


So I'm glad his travel through the 11th house is soon over. The Capricorn part of my 11th house spans almost 9 degrees. In the spring Saturn will turn retrograde and set up to enter my 12th house (I hope he has his Speedo's ready, because the waters will be hot! Martian hot actually, as Mars is placed almost exact my 12th house cusp.) Although Mars has had a tad of respite since December when Saturn entered Cap. He is more calm. More focused somehow. More at ease. Soon him and Saturn will meet for a chat and a status meeting:


“So, how are things going around here, Mars? (Saturn)”

Mars: “Funny you’re asking. Things have been heavy, lately I think. But in a good way. Rock solid way kinda – if you know what I mean… Anyways, I have your 30 year status report ready, printed and binded off, Saturn. Here you go” *hands over the report to Saturn*

Saturn takes it, turn the pages, start reading. At some places he cocks his eyebrow quizzical: “That Saturn return on Pluto was a heavy hitter, huh? Floored you pretty bad, I see?”

Mars looks a bit flustered, pulls his tie in the Armani suit.

“Yeah, that was pretty bad. But as you can probably read things calmed down after seeing that bastard got married 2,5 year after he threw us out with the bathwater” *coughs*

Saturn nods.

“I see” he says. “And so, what do you want me to help you build up from that now? Redemption? Fame? Fortune? Forgiveness? May I suggest healing from the scars deep in the 12th house? I reach them in a jiffy and it could be beneficial for you to agree upon. I think you’d like it when I hit Aquarius and the 1st house in 2021”.

Mars considers the offer.

“Yeah, you might want to sign that up, we have 30 year old business to attend to here I think. This is not something which has just begun, it has been there for years… 30 years to be specific. You left it in a pretty big mess the last time you visited.”

Saturn curiously looks at Mars. “And why would you say that? The whole thing was to get you to grow up, feel your own strenght – which, I might add – you have, now with that suit and a tie. Am I right?”

Mars: “Yeah, sure thing, but it’s on the inside that the scars lie. I’m not sure I’m quite ready for that to be honest. But I’ll give it a try if you can be patient with the anger that resides down there”.

Saturn smiles saintly: “But of course. I have nothing BUT time, Mars… Opposite you, hmm?”


Mars' smile is pained: "I don't think you know how much anger and hurt that is hiding down there. I shudder to think of it, really."

Saturn sends him a saintly smile. Which - on Saturn - is more like a smirk.

"Fret not, Mars. We will have a couple of follow-up meetings during the spring when I return to see how much you have achieved and grown while I was heading down to the Gates of Hell.


"Yeah, sure, I'll be ready, Mr. Of course I will. I'm just not quite sure what you expect from me down there and during your stay in my Hotel of Hell.

"Well, only one way to find out, now is there?" Saturn replies crisply and stand up, tucking the report down in his business travel suitcase. "I have all the info I need right here. This will be interesting reading. I like you better than Neptune whom I visited a year or a half ago. So much whining. She just. Wouldn't. Stop!

Saturn looks pained for a moment, before standing up and putting his hand on Mars' shoulder. Mars draws a deep breath, feeling the weight of responsibility injected upon him.

"I know you can take care of things, Mars", Saturn says encouragingly and sends hims a stern look. "Don't forget to relax a little from time to time. Life is not only about status and work and security you know. I learned that from Sagitarius. Sometimes you're allowed to take a break from the duties. However... " Saturn pauses before looking up at Mars again: "Make sure you have your i's dotted and your T's crossed. You're gonna need those lessons I gave you during the years through my stay in Scorpio. Even if the whole thing looked like a bloody Daily Show with Stewart, I had to give that Venus-Jupiter conjunction a lesson they wouldn't soon forget. Now, I count on you to take on your duties and fullfill them with skills and endurance. You're gonna need it, these waters can be rough, you know.


Mars feels a hysterical laugh bubbling up, wanting to say "No shit, Sherlock!" but refrain from joking to Saturn. He is not an entity you want to tie with.


"Of course, Sir" he says, and nods solemnly. "I'll see you during the year when you return."


"Good. Now make sure to those results ready when I come visit again, will you?" Saturn says, and Mars nods, leading him along to the entrence.


"May you have a nice stay" he says and Saturn nods. "I will make sure it will be a memorable one for sure", he answers and Mars nods before tuning on his heels to leave Saturn with his duties and tend to the Moon which has been bugging him for answers from the 8th house.


"I'll go check on the missus" he thinks to himself and leaves.

Interview with Mars square the Moon - Mothers, narcissism and repressed anger

Interviewer: So, Mars and Moon. I can see by looking at the horoscope, that you two are in a constant epic fight with each other, which put...