mandag den 9. juli 2018

Interview with Mars square the Moon - Mothers, narcissism and repressed anger

Interviewer: So, Mars and Moon. I can see by looking at the horoscope, that you two are in a constant epic fight with each other, which put pressure on not only your relationship but also on the relationship with the other planets as well. How would you describe your relationship with you own words?

Mars (looks at the Moon with a mix of exaspiration, anger and hardness): "Yeah, how would you describe this hate and love relationship, Moon?

The Moon in Libra sighs dramatically and looks like Mars just hit her. Hard. With a bat. In the face. Or so it would seem. She looks over at the interviewer with an apologizing smile.
"Oh, I don't know if I am the right one to talk about Mars, most of the time he and his anger is hidden from me - it's only when something or someone does something that annoys him so much that he really reacts. And when he does, then it's like a blowout, held back for far too long. And it ruins all of my attempts at creating a harmonious relationship with others. Then Mars steps in and ruin it with all of his resentment and hidden or repressed anger. Often it's completely misdirected and then I am in a state of constant anxiety, because my equibrilium is lost."

The interviewer looks from Moon to Mars and says: "Phew. That was a whole lot of words from someone not sure if she could or would say anything, I'd say. What do you think, Mars? What is your version of this tale? Is the moon right? Do you have repression issues with anger?

Mars looks angry at first. Like the exact image of long time repressed anger coming up, in a mix of resentment and cold, hard expressionless mask. The Moon reacts by tearing up. 
He then looks so forlorn, regretfuld and alone that the other party hold their breaths and just wait for him to come forth. When he does so, it is with an air of dignity and immense frustration.
"Yeah, she does have a point, I'd say", he admits hesitantly. "I do often go about stuff in a repressed way, and when I finally have enough and blow up, and they don't hear me, I get so frustrated I react with anger, because I have waited so long. It's a form of self undoing I can't get out of, as I am forever camped in this soggy 12th house where things go *bump* in the night. 
Sometimes even I don't know what I am mad about, just that I am. And I don't know what to do, because my boundaries have been violated. Or so it seems. Sometimes everything is blurry and watery. I can't stand it. It's like a deep rumble from the rocks below the watery bottom. Like I have a bad childhood memory of repressing my own energy and it wants to get out but can't..." 

The interviewer nods in understanding. "I can see you're frustrated, Mars. When you feel this way, how do you handle it?"

Mars sighs and slowly says: "Then I I work even harder and if I don't see any progress or things are just stuck, I sometimes get really depressed, loosing my willpower and sometimes also my temper, whichever depends on the situation. If I work with an authority I am not in a position where I can let loose my temper, so the only thing I do is to become really depressed and resentful."

The interviewer looks at the Moon:" And Moon, how do you react when this happens? "
The Moon looks sad then says"I just want everyone to be happy and coorporate. I'm a Libra, you know? But when Mars looses its steam, I become helpless, demotivated and bleak. I loose my motivation. Or I try to do a lot for other people, just to be liked or feel approved. If it doesn't work I too become depressed and resentful. We really don't know how to work together or act out our feelings because Mars is stuck 'downthere' and I am in this bright and cheery Jupiter House on the 9th floor, and we can't seem to just 'get' each other. We both want to take control and go with it ourselves. We don't budge easily, any of us, I'm afraid, Cardinal energies is all over the place after one of our fights it seems."

The interviewer nods in agreement. "And that's the underlying problem for two such passionate entities, yes? You're both in a cardinal sign, so both of you are using different tactics when it comes to controlling the outcome. How can you explain this? Is there anything in your background which would explain this?"
The Moon looks like she is in deep pain. Then she quietly says: "Mom was a negligent, narcissistic parent who couldn't cope with my feelings and always wanted to control how I felt or how I behaved in a lot of situations. We couldn't see eye to eye on many things, she always criticized my clothes and when I complained too much about my hair when I was a little girl, how it hurt when she used the brush, she just cut it off and made me look like a boy. She still is - controlling that is. It's like I can't stop seeking her advice or make an attempt to impress her with my accomplishments, just to get her approval or praise. It's a deep scar I have recently discovered has been put on me during so many years of my childhood."

The interviewer nods in understanding. "I see", he says. "So, do you think this could have affected how you were made to repress your feelings as a child - and... hereby also your ability to - and repressed anger, Mars?"
Mars nods vigouriously. "I certainly think that's the explanation I have been looking for, for a very long time, on how to live with this condition", he continues, adding to the Moon's explanation. "I was a really angry child, because my dad was very verbally abusive and controlling - I would imagine he was a patronizing, nasty narcissist as well, and none of us were allowed to feel our anger or using it to set boundaries. So Mom took it out on us, not willing to or able to cope with his anger, just teaching us that anger equals BAD, he says, with a hint of forceful anger shadowing his otherwise dignified expression. "We have always felt that we weren't good enough, for one reason or another"

The interviewer looks at them speculatively and nods. "I can see how this makes sense", he says, nodding. "Do you think this realization or reality could be a way of coping with both of your differencies in the future perhaps maybe? A sort of "Us against the world" sort of feeling you could unite in, instead of warring with each other, now that you have found the reason for your suffering all those many years? Having compassion with each other, uniting your very different natures in this case? 
Mars and the Moon nods at the same time. Moon reacts and says with a small smile: "We have already begun to improve on our relationship by recognizing the abused childhood feelings and how it creates anger inside. The key is not to get angry at her or them - but instead using the anger to acknowledge the feelings and knowing that these scars run deep, so very deep, and that this is a complex net of feelings, creating equal parts fear, insecurity, low self worth and an abundance of misdirected anger and frustration. When you KNOW it's easier to take it in and to feel sorry for yourself, comforting yourself in a better way than you knew how to before, by acknowledging it as it is. This is some of the keys to healing, I'd say. Learn the truth and the truth in the 9th house and it shall set you free from the 12th... Isn't that a beautiful feeling?" she laughs with a small but sad smile. 
"Yeah, it only took around 35 years to realize we were the victims of two very narcissistic parents and that it made us strong and weak at the same time. I guess it's due to the combined energy of Saturn and Pluto conjunct in the 9th house. They have a VERY hard time letting people and truth in", Mars says, smiling approvingly to the Moon. "We can set ourselves free if we want to, it just takes a bit more than maybe other people uses."

The interviewer smiles broadly. "I understand that your mother's Moon is conjunct Chiron in the horoscope as well. And with it, also her sun, as it is on the aneretic degree. It's in the 4th house, so I would say, that her instinctive reactions ends up hurting you, and possibly have lived out the Medusa myth, as these bodies are conjunct the star Algol too in the horoscope. 
How do you see this coming together with you two?" he asks curiosly.

The Moon sighs. "I really can't think of a way this couldn't spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E everywhere", she says dramatically. "But mostly it just seems like whatever she does or says, her ways will undermine all of our power in this life, so the best way to handle it, is never again to let her come too close so she can hurt us again or anymore. Even if this is easier said than done, I do believe this is the pavement for anger to be released in a constructive way. Never let them hurt you again, when you have discovered their "tricks" for doing it. Continuing doing so will only lead to dissapointment, anger, sadness and general self-undoing that won't go away. I suggest we keep our distance. It isn't that much of a difference with her in or out of her life. She can't deal with her emotions anyway. And when she does, she isn't great at it, wouldn't you agree, Mars?
Mars nods. "Indeed", he says. "I do think the best way is to be kind but distanced. Not to fall into the narcissistic guilt trap or other of her crazy ways, that only leads to misunderstandings and more suffering along the road."

Thank you, both of you, the interviewer says and closes the notes. I just think you two have come to an agreement that your mother is narcissistic, and who knows - with time your relationship with her, based on these truths, WILL make her come to see things in a different light, because YOU two will act different. She can no longer hide... And that's the key, I would say, to healing narcissitic people. Set boundaries, which I hope you Mars, will be better able to from now on. 

"Yup!" says Mars, nodding. "I have the patience and with Saturn in my hood now as well, things are about to be a loooot different from here on. At least I hope so, right? But I have the Moon with me, in the house of truths, and once you know the truth, you can never go back, isn't that so, Moon?"

The Moon nods and smiles. "For sure, Mars", she says, smiling. "Defenitely for sure".

lørdag den 17. marts 2018

Transit Uranus opposite the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in Libra - Generation 1982-1983

The babies of 1982 - particularly late 1982 I must say - is having a wrecking ball thrown into their lair these days.

Uranus is transitting this powerful combination of planetary energy in Libra and he is more than happy to wreck a little havoc in order to liberate the two gentlemen Lords of Transformation and Karma from their stronghold in the horoscope. My combo is even harsher - it is inconjunct Chiron. As a lot of people from October 1982 - early 1983 are. However this plays out in your horoscope, know that you are not alone in going through this sh*t yourself! We are all having our lives wrecked in some ways. For me, the action is going on in the 2nd vs. 8th house. My Libra house is the 8th, ruled by Venus, and she is pretty riled up from all the trouble Uranus has been throwing at her the past year and a half. Early 2016 to be more specific.

Enter the rebel with a cause...

Ripping noises sounds, while the fog of Saturn and Neptune transit squaring off is somehow disturbed by the shaking ground of a full throttle Aries with electric horns.
The aries smashes into the power central of 30 years' worth of breaking down everything constantly. Not even Saturn has been able to hold together the force of Pluto's Phoenix like energy and powerhouse acting-out. He looks a wee bit weary, and now he gets zapped in his behind as well.

"Can't I even have SOMETHING to rely on anymore?!" he yells impatiently while he smashes the hammer in repeated successions, while Pluto is growing in size in front of his eyes. "Quiet!" he yells as his judge-like form tries to hold on to some form of order in the court, while the lawyers scatters around in circles. They too are frazzled by the "Zapp" ing of Uranus' appearence in the doorway.
"I will not let you win this", Uranus says from the two doors into the court and shoots him a narrow glance. "You very well know, Saturn, that in this house you have no power, no control over what Pluto does, even if you are joined at his hip. I won't let you get away with it anymore. It's time to give up power to be transformed completely once and for all. I will set you free so you can live with more room to be by your core" Uranus says, looking down at the hip, sticking out from under Saturn's cape.
Saturn looks down in dismay at Pluto, joined at his side, and shakes his head.
"I have no control over that boy, whatsoever, and never has", he mumbles tiredly and turns his eyes up into the sky. "How on earth was I supposed to cope with this man who is not a man but a monster - but then at the same time - manage to be by your side in times of crisis, letting things that have outgrown themselves, go? How would you explain to me, what this man... boy... troublemaker is? He asks Uranus, whom just stares at them with a quirky smile of his.
"Yeah, you really have come from the fire and into the frying pan, huh?" he asks Saturn knowingly and nods to Pluto who just smiles in his usual half smile, half ...something. Saturn shudders. He really does not want to know what the smiles of Pluto means sometimes. He is not afraid... but he has had his decisions undergone by this ...this... entity as long as he can remember. He is sometimes a little harsh in his judgements, but that's because Pluto is undermining his authority and makes him tired before his game. If he could just move out from the aneretic degrees of Libra and 8th house - it's right outside the door, but for some reason he is stuck in a suit with a God-knows-what, as an eternal thorn in his side. Hashtag F*ck My Life.

Uranus swings his horn from side to side. "Things are about to get messy, but I promise you, after this, you will be free of previous karma with this case, he says and then sends a thunderbolt during the room where the woman with the aspect and her man is currently fighting in a seemingly never-ending fight for control and the right to be in charge.
"No more mr. Nice Guy", Uranus mumbles and seperate the two with a lighting bolt. The power is so strong that it catapults them up in the air, rip them apart with a screem, and lands them flat on their ass, while the electric energy in the room crackles as a fire. The man and the woman are quiet for the first time in 3 years. The man lifts his head, starts to rise. The woman slowly rises as well, with a little help from the man. He looks solemnly at her, kisses her hand and then turns his back to walk over to another woman and leave the court room with her. The woman stands, shaken, browbeaten and shocked, looking after them, until she collapses in a chair.

Saturn breathes. A deep one. Finally. He never thought he would be free of this place, this mess the two people made with each other, at this god forsaken place.
"And now I will return you all to your home" Uranus says and shakes something. The ground shakes but more quiet now. Like the scene has already been set and in some ways it has.
"I'll see you later, Saturn, when we cross each other in an rare Aries-Sag trine", Uranus says and lock eyes with Pluto. "You and I have some unfinished business, Pluto. But I know you are aware of that, so I will leave it to you to clean up the mess you've made before I visit you once more in 2017 and your little chat with the progressed moon, kk?"

Pluto nods and with a last glance, Uranus retreats to a corner in the room to plot world revolution once again. His job is done here - for now. Until life once again come in the way and he will have to release the chains once more. And then some.

"May you live in interesting times" he mumbles and smiles to himself. "I'll work hard to make sure of that in this life time, little lady...."

fredag den 2. marts 2018

Underwater earthquake - Pluto in Capricorn transits the 12th house

A deep rumbling runs through the ocean bottom and the disturbance causes fish and merfolks to skitter out from holes and creeks in the ocean's rocks and crannies.
A massive creak in the surface erupts and then dissappears, quickly silenced by the massive amounts of water sorrounding it, but the sound travels far and wide, alerting the souls in the ocean that something , a monster has awaken. Sounds travels fast underwater.

"Is it The Kraken?" the sea bass whispers with a disturbed look to his wife who casts worried glances around.
"I don't know, but it is not the same as yesterday. Something has changed" she says in a low tone and look around. The sea has gone eerily silent while the creeks and crackling sounds in the rock bottom of the sea continues to appear.
"What should we do? The wise sea bass asks, which is completely out of bounds for him.
"I don't know, but I'm outta here" his wife says and disappears. Her mate follows soon after. The sea falls silent but the atmosphere is... Disturbed. By something no one really knows what is....

This is what it feels like when Pluto is operating in Capricorn from the bottom of a Neptunian Sea in the 12th house and causes ripples underground to surface once in a while. Underwater earthquakes causes tsunamis by sheer force of movement of the Earth's plates. Sometimes the whole thing is ripped in two, causing new oceans to erupt and be created, and sometimes there is not a lot of visible damage to the surface, but the internal shocks of the quake can be seen and felt hundreds of miles away and start a storm or tsunami in another country far away. Dealings with Pluto are not always easy, and I don't take this passage of a Dark Taskmaster of Transformation lightly these days. Try to imagine how this went on with Uranus in the mix between 2012 and 2015.......!

However, what Pluto digs up from the ground is interesting stuff. Scars are opened and no one is allowed out before everything hidden is turned up and down and he has shaken everything and every secret out. Try imagine a Sea God with a trifork battling a cunning monster - underwater. When the monster is hidden. Although it will be done in silence, underwater - and scars will usually be hard to detect, if not impossible to foresee the consequence of, even know where they may appear. That's Pluto transitting the 12th house in Capricorn for you! It's like an anaconda really. No Lock Ness monster here, just pure terror until you learn how to roll with the punches. I can recommend the surrendering proces. "Let go and let... Pluto". Somehow fitting I would say, even though Pluto is hardball to get to know, as he takes up the flavour of the sign and house he transits every time. But the thing about waterhouses is... you can't really distinguish their borders. Can you hold in the seas of the Ocean? Limit them in some ways? Maybe. For a small time. And very narrow space. But the sea is limitless. Most of the earth is made of by seas. And their undercurrents are what drives the weather, the rain storms, tsunamis, and which way the birds fly when they take south.

That mess is now Pluto's domain. In co-rulership with Neptune he rules this space now. It is somehow fitting that Neptune is traveling Pisces - my 1st house. Blurry defenses, blurry boundaries... Nothing is ever permanent with Pluto OR Neptune for that matter. But Capricorn is a sign of steady-as-a-rockness and that makes for a rich soil. Earth and water makes mud. Mud is a rich and fertile ground for planting new seeds, and that's what this transit is all about. Rooting out the weeds so you can start planting and make something out of it for mankind later, when Pluto hits Aquarius. The best use of this energy is to indulge your creative energy and create something out of it. Or - work behind the scenes with it - it being a book, a new technology project or a cleaning-out-the-ocean technology stuff. These guys for example - are the perfect example of this transit:

torsdag den 15. februar 2018

The Big Bad Wolf and the Virgin - Pluto in Capricorn stalks the progressed Moon in the 10th

These days my progressed Moon has a "friend" ... He's called Pluto. And he is like that bug you can't really shake off. He acts like a stalker, following her and she's desperate to escape his breath in the nape.

I'm talking about the progressed chart with my Moon in Capricorn trudging along in the 10th house, while transitting Pluto (which we all know is a royal pain in the a-hat) is transitting Cap as well on the outside world. I refuse to believe these two don't talk, even if the progressed chart is what's happening on the inside of my brain and feelings. Poor girl. She has had a LOT to deal with the past half year while Pluto was on her like a bee in your stockings. Ouch!
She started squaring my natal moon at 13 degrees early June 2017 and around that time she was also conjunct my natal Mars. Damn! Hot combo. It really *did* feel like a hot mess around this time...

The Moon looks behind her in fear. Fuck. He is right there. Never letting her out of his sight, getting closer, closer, closer... She can feel his breath in her neck, like a really annoying stray dog, and he has the audacity to LAUGH when he meets her eyes. The audacity!
- What's the matter, Moon, aren't you happy to see me? I thought you liked all that seriusness and deep stuff coming off ya these days! 
- Go away, she mumbles and shakes her head. -As if life's not already heavy enough with responsibilities and I know not what, Pluto. Go play with someone else, why does it have to be me you're taunting? I don't have anything to do with the real world anyway. 
Pluto smiles amicably and the Moon knows she is screwed. Pluto only does it before he delivers a hit to the core that robs you of every bluidy thing you hold dear. 
- You're no fun, she sulks. -Why don't you go and piss off a CEO or boss instead of me? I am up to my own neck in trying to fight with half of my heritage and bring it out in the open, and at the same time that shitty Mars is blowing cold mud rocks into my head from his position at the natal chart. Can't you see I am in enough shit already? Don't you know it matters to me how my home works, and that I'm already fighting with my own self with that square to the natal Moon in the 8th house? Why also you now?

Pluto just smiles. Lie. Pluto doesn't smile. He is too cunning for that, that power hungry mongrel, the Moon thinks. She shudders by the thought of what he can think of doing to her, Venus and the other planets in the chart. 
-Can I not teach you how to be self reliant and emotional mature by shaking you up a little? He says with a glint in those deep Pluto eyes. Again, the Mooon shudders. Who knows what lies in those and what morbid things he has seen throughout this lifetime of incarnation. 

-I am doing that all by own, alone, these days myself so thank you very much, but no thanks, she says and sighs. This 10th house business stuff in Capricorn is heavy enough as is, but dealing with your own shit from childhood at the same time, while everyone is watching is even more embarrassing she sighs inwardly and looks down at her big girl pants. There are some holes in the fabric, from where she has taken a hit the past months... She is so tired of the drag, but keeps on. Because Capricorn never give up, they keep on marching on, trying to do the right thing even if there are none to be done.  
-Why won't you lend some of my psychological strenght to get it done? Pluto suggests and the Moon turns around to look at him. He looks so innocent, but part of her is afraid, because she knows what havoc Pluto can play in your life because of his power hungriness and part of her is tempted because she knows she could gain so much more with him backing her up from the outside.
-Don't say you're not considering it, Pluto says and shoots her a sardonic glint of his eyes. -You and me both know that the conflicts inside you have to contend with these days are not child's play...
The Moon looks up at Pluto and says in a small voice: -I don't know how, I don't know if I want to - and I don't know HOW its done - how can I borrow from someone who isn't the giving type but just hunts the take-down of power and psychological control freaks and not my best and most sincere offers? What do I have to gain from doing that you say, Pluto?
Pluto offers her a secret smile and looks at her with his hypnotic eyes. Even in a cold-blooded sign as Cap he can look like a sinner with a virgin heart.
-That, my dear, is totally why I'm offering it to you. It's so that you can build your own power up from the inside and out, and gain access to your soul's true nature by aligning your true purpose with your heart's power and bring it out into the open to build your standing in life, my dear. Isn't that obvious that in order for you to gain such wisdom you must give up your struggle to survice and become the survivor? How to better harness that energy than to feel your heart true purpose?

The Moon closes her eyes and when she opens then she says: -But I'm almost at the weakest right now - everything is squaring up against me in a double whammy of Mars-Moon and the other planets are here as well.
-On the contrary, you have never had so much backup to find your soul purpose in life - where you shine, my dear Moon, Pluto says and points at the other deities in Capricorn. Saturn is far away but closing in, thanks to his ingress into the early Cap degrees and the MC is hoovering outside of the natal 12th house.

-What you seek is not a power you can find inside of yourself alone, Pluto says. -It will need time and matureness to fully bloom and be used for the optimal reasons. None of that is possible without emotional maturity, but you need to take your own power and decide what you wanna build with it, to get into the game so as to years down the road you can look back and see where your focus were.
The Moon slowly says: -And, since you're such an expert of what I want and don't want... then what do you think I focous on, Pluto?

Pluto winks at her. Winks! He says nothing and smiles again. -Really, my dear moon, can't you see it yourself? I did think it became really clear as you moved into a neighbourhood with gang fightings, shooting episodes and conflict. Look at yourself, dear girl! That's what you hide from inside of you, preferring to gloss things over, down in the 8th house Libra stuff... To pretend there are no ugly or rough edges to people but most of all - what you yourself contain. True power comes to those that turns their black holes into shining stars!
His passionate speech renders the Moon speechless for a moment. She feels compelled to follow his words - yet, at the same time, she fears to open herself up again and feel the deepest scars her mother added to her heart.

-Feel it, Pluto breathes, and she looks at him, scared to her bones.
-I can't, she whimpers and close herself down, the pain being too much to bear with all the other things happening around her and the struggle with her own natal self. -What if I am destroyed in myself? I don't want to be left off, bitter, bleeding and worst of all... alone! Why are you doing this to me, Pluto!
-Because I want you to GROW, lady! Without growth we are just imbeciles, trying to escape our deepest wounds which we are sat into this world to solve and dissolve and heal from. Look at yourself - you are running from your own wounds, always has been, if Mars had not kept you in check in a forever battle and square! Don't you want to make peace with your Mars?
The Moon nods. That damned Mars. She is so so tired of that stiffnecked cockyball.
-Alright, she agrees. -I will take your word for it, and not be afraid of failing or loosing myself and my soul. Maybe it will at least give  me some insights I can use to move forward so not to be too afraid later in life.
-Not only insights, Pluto mesmerizes. -God's only power ... wisdom and heart strenght, after you've been in the bowls of your own personal Hell for the entire year, Moon. Don't you want to get free of it in the end, to NOT feel this pain in your gut all the time?
The Moon sighs and nods. -Alright, Pluto. I admit I will achieve what I have not already done: Enough maturity to look at my demons and own them with my whole heart. Nothing less and nothing more. Deal?
-Sweet, my dear girl, Pluto says and put on his sunglasses. -Now, I must get to the club soon. Have fun, little Moon!

And *poof* - the threatening planet of sin and evil purpose is gone before the Moon can say anything else.

mandag den 5. februar 2018

Saturn and Pluto talks. Messages from the bowls of Hell.... (Pluto transits Capricorn in the 12th house)

Saturn is right now diving into Capricorn, his home sign, in the early days of 2018. He is touring the last past of my 11th house which is sharing its property with the open minded, upbeat visionary and fluffy Sagitarius. It offers a healthy mix of reality check I'd say. The mix of Sag's visionary, goal setting and ambition coupled with Saturn's need for a cold, harsh reality check to my dreams and visionary goals. I can almost HEAR Saturn cocking his eye-brow to Sag's visionary quest and with a dry reply saying: "Sure, Sag. Do you have a plan laid out for this thing you wanna do?"

So, Pluto has been transitting Capricorn and my 11th/12th house for some years now. He has now reached the underbelly of the mother lode, in which we see the deepest currents of "Hell" if there was any. We are taken on the journey of the 12th house in my horoscope. The place where things go bump in the night....


Saturn stares down in the pit from where he can sense steam and pebbles coming up every now and then. He shoots a look down there, a mix between worried and puzzled.
Saturn is the lover of rocks and pebbles after all, so all he does is brush the dust from his woolen suit and call down to Pluto:
"Hey, Pluto! Bro! You good?"
The sound travels down far below the surface of the 11th house border and is met with a roar of rage and anger and a deep yowl of pain.
"Fine! Doing my stuff down here, you wouldn't believe what lives in these waters. Yuck!"
A scream sounds and a rotten limb suddenly appears up fro the hole where Pluto crashed his way down to the deep bowls of Hell ever since he entered late 2012.
"Just a minute, I'll be fine!" he yells to Saturn, while Saturn shoots looks that are equally quizzical and worried.

"Now, don't mess up the whole thing before I get there, will you?" Saturn yells to Pluto which are mumbling for himselves in the deep pits down in a not-really-measurable distance. The pits of Hell and Doom are infinite with no clear borders or limits. It could be right here - and far far away for all Saturn knows. The look on his face is one of resolute and stoic stubbornness. Also... a little bit of fear might as well lurk in the deepest parts of his cool, grey eyes. He is after all soon entering the place where things go ... askew in the dark. That's why he must go. To put some order to all the messy things which Pluto has been digging up while Saturn was busy trying to get that bloody archer Sagitarius to aim for the right stuff and not the fluffy dreams and visions. He sighs.
"You sure you're ok down there, bro?" he asks again and hears another scream, a growl and a ripping.
"Fine! Just fine!" Pluto shouts. "I'm trying to get to the gold down here, there's a glimmer in it, I can see it, but the dirt just keeps gushing in and stirs up anger and trouble! You should see the looks on their faces when I did up yet another grave that woman has dug for herself through her 35 years in life!"
"I can imagine" Saturn mumbles, with a twinge. It's true, the last time he was here there weren't really a lot to work with. A new sibbling had just arrived and he had to build this woman up so she was able to grow up fast. He had to put her through a lot during these two years so she would not fall on her face when the real struggle turned up and about to crush her from time to time. Sometimes he hated his job just a little. All the suffering and pain. "But... duty calls", he mumbles to himself, looking at his pocket watch.

He liked his pocket watch. Opposite what others thought, Saturn liked his pocket watch immensely. It was good quality, tried and tested against reality and hardships time and time again. The wishy-washy Mercury and Venus always preferred the newest, fancy looking gadgets and had a hard time buckling up to do some work - but at least he hoped that Mercury in the 8th house were up to the hard times and tasks he had written in his upcoming strategy plan for 2018 - 2020. He knew Mercury had a lot to see, think and worry about, but it was time to put the boy in the ringer and get something GOOD out of him for that matter. He knew Scorpio could be cunning as well, not wanting to face the pain of its losses, but with the Moon over at Libra and the 8th house being hit first, he didn't think the Sun, Venus and Jupiter (frolicking pair of nutbolts if ever there were some) would complain much after what he had in mind for the troubled moon.

Ahhh, yes, that was one troubled lady if ever he had seen one. Deeply hurt and in a constant battle with Mars, Mars had always had a lot to deal and contend with, while trying to do his work out in the real world of hopes and dreams. He often messed his goals up, but that was mostly due to the Moon's wounds and angry hurt. Still, when the Libra Moon was in one of her rare balanced moods, she could be almost... balsamic, Saturn thought with a wink. So soothing and pleasing that she could almost trick you into thinking she always was so easy to be around and please. He knew he had made her life miserable when he had paid her a visit from 2010 to 2012, but he had a score to settle with his own Saturn return, and he had dreaded how that had unfolded with the Pluto energy so constantly present. A lot depended on this return, and he had managed to get some good results in, even if it killed their relationship through 8 years. Saturn sighed. War always meant casualties. In this case he was not sorry to see the bastard go, he had made sure the lady got what she deserved after all - and then some. Such a shame that Uranus had gone and ruined that with his rebel tendencies when he traveled the 2nd house and put a wild streak in the moon. No one could have seen that thunderbolt coming - at least not in the family.

Saturn winced. He was not fond of the kid she had chosen, but he had had to teach her loneliness to make her realize she was stronger than she knew. And so he had proceeded to make her stronger and more capable alone than with another. The Moon hated him for it, all she wanted to do was partnering, but Saturn had his best time in Libra. He was fair and just and the Moon knew there was nothing to be gained by making a fuss out of it. Still, he felt sorry for his upcoming fight with her. He would make sure to set her misconceptions to right.

"I'm going down soon!" he shouted to Pluto and looked down through the hole. Pluto was still working, and would continue to do so until 2023 - or more. He had a little fringe of Aquarius to cover during his stay in the 12th house as well.
"I know!" Pluto shouted back. "I am trying to well up all the golden nuggest for you to turn into something solid" he continued. "But I will also make you work for it, you know, right?"
"Absolutely", Saturn answered and that was all he could do... patiently wait until he was out of the 11th house and hit the 12th smack dab square in the butt, on his way out of the 11th. If all went well, he would have a few results coming up from that tour of his, however long they were taking.
"Good", Pluto answered. "And so you and I shall have a blast. I'm setting up the tables these days"
"Like I wouldn't know"... Saturn sighed and shook his head.

søndag den 4. februar 2018

Saturn transitting Capricorn: Status Meeting with Mars (Mars Conjunct Saturn)

Saturn has been fired up just mightily the past 2 years … phew. He has been traveling along in Sagitarius which covers my 9th, 10th and 11th house. That's a LOT in 2,5 years!

So I'm glad his travel through the 11th house is soon over. The Capricorn part of my 11th house spans almost 9 degrees. In the spring Saturn will turn retrograde and set up to enter my 12th house (I hope he has his Speedo's ready, because the waters will be hot! Martian hot actually, as Mars is placed almost exact my 12th house cusp.) Although Mars has had a tad of respite since December when Saturn entered Cap. He is more calm. More focused somehow. More at ease. Soon him and Saturn will meet for a chat and a status meeting:

“So, how are things going around here, Mars? (Saturn)”

Mars: “Funny you’re asking. Things have been heavy, lately I think. But in a good way. Rock solid way kinda – if you know what I mean… Anyways, I have your 30 year status report ready, printed and binded off, Saturn. Here you go” *hands over the report to Saturn*

Saturn takes it, turn the pages, start reading. At some places he cocks his eyebrow quizzical: “That Saturn return on Pluto was a heavy hitter, huh? Floored you pretty bad, I see?”

Mars looks a bit flustered, pulls his tie in the Armani suit.

“Yeah, that was pretty bad. But as you can probably read things calmed down after seeing that bastard got married 2,5 year after he threw us out with the bathwater” *coughs*

Saturn nods.

“I see” he says. “And so, what do you want me to help you build up from that now? Redemption? Fame? Fortune? Forgiveness? May I suggest healing from the scars deep in the 12th house? I reach them in a jiffy and it could be beneficial for you to agree upon. I think you’d like it when I hit Aquarius and the 1st house in 2021”.

Mars considers the offer.

“Yeah, you might want to sign that up, we have 30 year old business to attend to here I think. This is not something which has just begun, it has been there for years… 30 years to be specific. You left it in a pretty big mess the last time you visited.”

Saturn curiously looks at Mars. “And why would you say that? The whole thing was to get you to grow up, feel your own strenght – which, I might add – you have, now with that suit and a tie. Am I right?”

Mars: “Yeah, sure thing, but it’s on the inside that the scars lie. I’m not sure I’m quite ready for that to be honest. But I’ll give it a try if you can be patient with the anger that resides down there”.

Saturn smiles saintly: “But of course. I have nothing BUT time, Mars… Opposite you, hmm?”

Mars' smile is pained: "I don't think you know how much anger and hurt that is hiding down there. I shudder to think of it, really."

Saturn sends him a saintly smile. Which - on Saturn - is more like a smirk.

"Fret not, Mars. We will have a couple of follow-up meetings during the spring when I return to see how much you have achieved and grown while I was heading down to the Gates of Hell.

"Yeah, sure, I'll be ready, Mr. Of course I will. I'm just not quite sure what you expect from me down there and during your stay in my Hotel of Hell.

"Well, only one way to find out, now is there?" Saturn replies crisply and stand up, tucking the report down in his business travel suitcase. "I have all the info I need right here. This will be interesting reading. I like you better than Neptune whom I visited a year or a half ago. So much whining. She just. Wouldn't. Stop!

Saturn looks pained for a moment, before standing up and putting his hand on Mars' shoulder. Mars draws a deep breath, feeling the weight of responsibility injected upon him.

"I know you can take care of things, Mars", Saturn says encouragingly and sends hims a stern look. "Don't forget to relax a little from time to time. Life is not only about status and work and security you know. I learned that from Sagitarius. Sometimes you're allowed to take a break from the duties. However... " Saturn pauses before looking up at Mars again: "Make sure you have your i's dotted and your T's crossed. You're gonna need those lessons I gave you during the years through my stay in Scorpio. Even if the whole thing looked like a bloody Daily Show with Stewart, I had to give that Venus-Jupiter conjunction a lesson they wouldn't soon forget. Now, I count on you to take on your duties and fullfill them with skills and endurance. You're gonna need it, these waters can be rough, you know.

Mars feels a hysterical laugh bubbling up, wanting to say "No shit, Sherlock!" but refrain from joking to Saturn. He is not an entity you want to tie with.

"Of course, Sir" he says, and nods solemnly. "I'll see you during the year when you return."

"Good. Now make sure to those results ready when I come visit again, will you?" Saturn says, and Mars nods, leading him along to the entrence.

"May you have a nice stay" he says and Saturn nods. "I will make sure it will be a memorable one for sure", he answers and Mars nods before tuning on his heels to leave Saturn with his duties and tend to the Moon which has been bugging him for answers from the 8th house.

"I'll go check on the missus" he thinks to himself and leaves.

Interview with Mars square the Moon - Mothers, narcissism and repressed anger

Interviewer: So, Mars and Moon. I can see by looking at the horoscope, that you two are in a constant epic fight with each other, which put...